I just completed three weeks of what some people call a book tour. Looping through Michigan, Tennessee, and Indiana. I managed to collect one speeding ticket, a whole lot of hotel bills, gasoline charges and days of really mediocre food. I now find myself at home with the time to reflect on what really happened out there.
Lesson learned: If you have an out of state plate on a car and are being handily passed by several cars that are native to that state you will be selected out of all the cars in rush-hour traffic to be awarded a citation.
In this particular state the officer that stops you smiles and reveals to you that due to the fact that he considers you an alien, you are allowed to select one of three self-destructive options. He can impound you and your car until you pay your fine, he can seize your drivers license and they will return it to you by mail after you pay your fine (during which time period you will be operating a motor vehicle illegally in any state), or you can post a roadside bond in any amount, under 1oo dollars, the officer feels is appropriate. My officer felt every remaining bit of paper money in my wallet was appropriate. I moved on to my next signing poorer but wiser. I don't want to mention any names but Michael Moore was wrong. They shouldn't save this state and its economy they should level it or at least deport the people who voted for the representatives who write their traffic laws.
Heading down the road on my next adventure, stay safe.
Allan
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
POTPOURRI
Not a bowl of stinky dead flowers but a miscellaneous gathering of items.
A lesson learned from a lady who has more class in her little finger than I will ever have in my lifetime.
So in an effort to make up for this lapse on my part, Thank You All From Amadeus to Mrs. Zimdars (a grade school teacher I was gifted with). Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
First and foremost: A thank you to Carol Dresser who came to visit me at the Mill Street Festival in Plymouth, WI. yesterday. (I tried to insert a picture of Carol and I here but this software aint up to the game.)
Carol was the very first person to send me fan mail. (It was just a note telling me she liked a story I had written for Dying In A Winter Wonderland. I prefer to call it fan mail.) She pointed out to me yesterday, "If someone goes through the effort to do something well, the least one can do is acknowledge that fact."A lesson learned from a lady who has more class in her little finger than I will ever have in my lifetime.
So in an effort to make up for this lapse on my part, Thank You All From Amadeus to Mrs. Zimdars (a grade school teacher I was gifted with). Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
The State of Confusion
I realize that there is a down side to any place you choose to call home. Kansas has its whirly-winds, Arizona the moon like landscape and incredible heat, and I don't want to start in on ocean bound California, but I have picked two doozies.
I'm saving Florida for another time. I can't be bothered with little old ladies in huge Caddies without turn signals or brakes that don't function at red lights right now. I'm in the process of studying a phenomenon that may be peculiar to Wisconsin alone.
I should let you know that for most months out of the year I live here, and believe it to be one of the loveliest spots on the globe with the qualifying, but!
For all of the fair weather months, when the major highways are traveled by tourist, nearly every intersection is occupied by a large tent or permanent building packed full of explosives.
Don't get me wrong, I love fireworks. I have on more than one occasion trimmed my hair and eyebrows with gun powder. I loved lighting up the sky, particularly with rockets I had judiciously set aside for new years eve. There is a particular attraction by me of a burst of color reflected off new fallen snow.
That was until they issued the citation. Naive as I can be, I thoroughly miss-understood the concept of it being against the law, and so costly, to actually use a product that was so readily accessible.
When one considers the overall impact of this system it is quite ingenious. Our government representatives have devised a way to collect sales tax on a tantalizing product and also fill the state coffers by fining those of us stupid enough to fall into their insidious trap and light the stuff.
Of course I don't believe that makes our elected officials particularly smart, just very cunning.
I'm saving Florida for another time. I can't be bothered with little old ladies in huge Caddies without turn signals or brakes that don't function at red lights right now. I'm in the process of studying a phenomenon that may be peculiar to Wisconsin alone.
I should let you know that for most months out of the year I live here, and believe it to be one of the loveliest spots on the globe with the qualifying, but!
For all of the fair weather months, when the major highways are traveled by tourist, nearly every intersection is occupied by a large tent or permanent building packed full of explosives.
Don't get me wrong, I love fireworks. I have on more than one occasion trimmed my hair and eyebrows with gun powder. I loved lighting up the sky, particularly with rockets I had judiciously set aside for new years eve. There is a particular attraction by me of a burst of color reflected off new fallen snow.
That was until they issued the citation. Naive as I can be, I thoroughly miss-understood the concept of it being against the law, and so costly, to actually use a product that was so readily accessible.
When one considers the overall impact of this system it is quite ingenious. Our government representatives have devised a way to collect sales tax on a tantalizing product and also fill the state coffers by fining those of us stupid enough to fall into their insidious trap and light the stuff.
Of course I don't believe that makes our elected officials particularly smart, just very cunning.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
The Error Of My Ways
I was standing in line at my favorite bakery, ( I sometimes stand outside and sniff for hours) Sunday morning, when a gentleman who shall remain nameless walked up to me and informed me he knew what was wrong with Crossing The Centerline.
I immediately assumed a defensive position and waited for the body shot to come in front of a dozen other customers. Perhaps he had also discovered for reasons unknown to man a characters name changes within a two page span.
I looked down at the floor and start writing imaginary letters with the toe of my right shoe. A habit I picked up in a principal's office long ago. I take the customerary deep breath, and ask. "What would that be?"
He grinned a little and said, "It was way too short."
I offered to buy him a dozen donuts, but he just shook my hand and was on his way. He doesn't know it but I will never forget him.
I immediately assumed a defensive position and waited for the body shot to come in front of a dozen other customers. Perhaps he had also discovered for reasons unknown to man a characters name changes within a two page span.
I looked down at the floor and start writing imaginary letters with the toe of my right shoe. A habit I picked up in a principal's office long ago. I take the customerary deep breath, and ask. "What would that be?"
He grinned a little and said, "It was way too short."
I offered to buy him a dozen donuts, but he just shook my hand and was on his way. He doesn't know it but I will never forget him.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Sometimes Neat Things Happen
I doubt many writers have had the opportunity to be involved in a project as I am about to describe.
Not unlike a great number of people, I frequent a particular restaurant a bit more than what my waistline requires.
On our several trips there Jane and I have become friends with Nora the head waitress. She is one of the most delightful people I have ever had the good fortune to meet.
We of course invited her to last Saturday's launch for Crossing The Centerline. Unfortunately she had to work and was unable to attend, but did send her daughter in her stead to purchase two books. Both with exact signing instructions
Today by chance we stopped in for lunch and found she was gifting one of the books to a regular of her's who was celebrating her 93rd. birthday. This customer had purchased an anthology I was part of last year and so enjoyed my story therein she told Nora she was eagerly waiting for my book to come out. Nora being Nora made sure her wait was not wasted.
I won't bore you with the dialoge that passed between us all, but I will tell you the kiss on the cheek I received made all those hours at the keyboard well worth while.
Not unlike a great number of people, I frequent a particular restaurant a bit more than what my waistline requires.
On our several trips there Jane and I have become friends with Nora the head waitress. She is one of the most delightful people I have ever had the good fortune to meet.
We of course invited her to last Saturday's launch for Crossing The Centerline. Unfortunately she had to work and was unable to attend, but did send her daughter in her stead to purchase two books. Both with exact signing instructions
Today by chance we stopped in for lunch and found she was gifting one of the books to a regular of her's who was celebrating her 93rd. birthday. This customer had purchased an anthology I was part of last year and so enjoyed my story therein she told Nora she was eagerly waiting for my book to come out. Nora being Nora made sure her wait was not wasted.
I won't bore you with the dialoge that passed between us all, but I will tell you the kiss on the cheek I received made all those hours at the keyboard well worth while.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
