Visited an Indie near my Florida place and approached the manager about doing a signing. He was kind enough to let me know I would first have to seek out an unknown reporter with the local news-paper, to get a feature interview, to correspond with the signing, without knowing what day that would be and I should also consider a half page add to facilitate the feature article.
Obviously I bear an amazing resemblance to Billy Gates I wasn't aware of.
I'm thinking about going to plan "B". A corrugated cardboard sign, "Writer , will sell books for food", and a real busy intersection.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
No good deed goes...
A few years ago I wrote a short story that Tony Burton of Wolfgang Press used as a fund raiser for "Toys For Tots".
I included two of the characters that appear in my "Bay Harbour" mystery series. Some kind hearted soul from one of the western states decided I must be a wealthy author type and proceeded with a legal action against me for depicting him as a thief since he shared the nickname of one of my characters.
I was sure he thought I would settle and just send him a tidy check. Just goes to show you how wrong he could be. I admit it may have cost more than the settlement would have been negotiated to, but once in a while even I grab hold of a principle.
Time consuming, yes, expensive ,yes, but was it worth it, yes. Sleep well tonight Bay Harbour, Gibby, your name is safe with me.
I included two of the characters that appear in my "Bay Harbour" mystery series. Some kind hearted soul from one of the western states decided I must be a wealthy author type and proceeded with a legal action against me for depicting him as a thief since he shared the nickname of one of my characters.
I was sure he thought I would settle and just send him a tidy check. Just goes to show you how wrong he could be. I admit it may have cost more than the settlement would have been negotiated to, but once in a while even I grab hold of a principle.
Time consuming, yes, expensive ,yes, but was it worth it, yes. Sleep well tonight Bay Harbour, Gibby, your name is safe with me.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Love Is Murder LOVIES
I was offered the position of acting as Governor of the Lovies at LIM 2012. Cash bribes are of no use and will reported to the proper authorities. Now in the case of raisin, oatmeal.... I say no more.
Travel Obsevations
1) 2 size ten Sketchers do not serve well as brakes for a forty seven and one half pound suit case when it bears down on you as you are forward of it on an escalator.
2) TSA agents are not required to carry band-aids.
3) Nothing works as a sufficient book-mark when the aircraft you are in hits a wind-shear and abruptly drops three hundred feet.
4) Airline food has gotten colder but not better.
5) Do not attempt feigning sleep to prevent your seat companions recitation of their biography, it doesn't work.
6) When asked , "what are you reading?" Do not reply, "a book I wrote." Striking them when they counter with, "Is it any good?" Is deeply frowned upon by any Air Marshall who is on the plane. I don't know about you but I swell a little at altitude and those hand-cuffs bite.
2) TSA agents are not required to carry band-aids.
3) Nothing works as a sufficient book-mark when the aircraft you are in hits a wind-shear and abruptly drops three hundred feet.
4) Airline food has gotten colder but not better.
5) Do not attempt feigning sleep to prevent your seat companions recitation of their biography, it doesn't work.
6) When asked , "what are you reading?" Do not reply, "a book I wrote." Striking them when they counter with, "Is it any good?" Is deeply frowned upon by any Air Marshall who is on the plane. I don't know about you but I swell a little at altitude and those hand-cuffs bite.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Couldn't be better, why do you ask?
Nothing strikes terror into a persons heart more than someone walking up to you and saying, "Do you feel alright?"
Up until that moment I was feeling fine. I had gotten up early. I knocked out four pages that I felt were adequate and was considering asking my wife out to breakfast when that girl, with fourteen visible piercings, moved me one step closer to deaths door.
Having no bases to compare with what I look like normally how could she possibly know if this was a good day or not.
I signed the credit card slip and headed to the mens room hoping the mirror would give a fair appraisal of the possibility I might not make it back to my car.
It turned out the mirror was cracked and so dirty Matt Damon would have looked bad in it. I left the restroom still in doubt of my chance at longevity and decided if my demise was eminent I would go out with Butterfinger Bar crumbs on my shirt. I approached Miss Holes in the head's counter and realized her eyes were focused below my belt line. it wasn't until I got into the car I realized my fly was open. I have to find a different gas station before the needle hits "E:.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
How Can That Be?
A friend of mine asked me why I never answer his messages on Face-book. I informed him that I had never seen them. He suggest I try a new eyeglass perscripition.
I explained that I was fairly sure that that my glasses were a gift from S. King and were already over the legal weight limit but assured him I would look for his attempts at humor as soon as I got home.
Through no skill on my part I accidently landed on a Face book account with my name and likeness on it that I never knew existed.
Anyone who knows me should have guessed I had nothing to do with the publication, with the spelling correct and the puctuation impecable it obviously had no connection with me at all.
The question does remain who would bother to build a site with my name on it? An even scarier thought is there might be another me out there in the ether. Boogles the mind , doesn't it.
That's it, don't smoke even if you got'm.
That's all.
I explained that I was fairly sure that that my glasses were a gift from S. King and were already over the legal weight limit but assured him I would look for his attempts at humor as soon as I got home.
Through no skill on my part I accidently landed on a Face book account with my name and likeness on it that I never knew existed.
Anyone who knows me should have guessed I had nothing to do with the publication, with the spelling correct and the puctuation impecable it obviously had no connection with me at all.
The question does remain who would bother to build a site with my name on it? An even scarier thought is there might be another me out there in the ether. Boogles the mind , doesn't it.
That's it, don't smoke even if you got'm.
That's all.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Good News --- Bad... there aint no bad news
I just completed three weeks of what some people call a book tour. Looping through Michigan, Tennessee, and Indiana. I managed to collect one speeding ticket, a whole lot of hotel bills, gasoline charges and days of really mediocre food. I now find myself at home with the time to reflect on what really happened out there.
Lesson learned: If you have an out of state plate on a car and are being handily passed by several cars that are native to that state you will be selected out of all the cars in rush-hour traffic to be awarded a citation.
In this particular state the officer that stops you smiles and reveals to you that due to the fact that he considers you an alien, you are allowed to select one of three self-destructive options. He can impound you and your car until you pay your fine, he can seize your drivers license and they will return it to you by mail after you pay your fine (during which time period you will be operating a motor vehicle illegally in any state), or you can post a roadside bond in any amount, under 1oo dollars, the officer feels is appropriate. My officer felt every remaining bit of paper money in my wallet was appropriate. I moved on to my next signing poorer but wiser. I don't want to mention any names but Michael Moore was wrong. They shouldn't save this state and its economy they should level it or at least deport the people who voted for the representatives who write their traffic laws.
Heading down the road on my next adventure, stay safe.
Allan
Lesson learned: If you have an out of state plate on a car and are being handily passed by several cars that are native to that state you will be selected out of all the cars in rush-hour traffic to be awarded a citation.
In this particular state the officer that stops you smiles and reveals to you that due to the fact that he considers you an alien, you are allowed to select one of three self-destructive options. He can impound you and your car until you pay your fine, he can seize your drivers license and they will return it to you by mail after you pay your fine (during which time period you will be operating a motor vehicle illegally in any state), or you can post a roadside bond in any amount, under 1oo dollars, the officer feels is appropriate. My officer felt every remaining bit of paper money in my wallet was appropriate. I moved on to my next signing poorer but wiser. I don't want to mention any names but Michael Moore was wrong. They shouldn't save this state and its economy they should level it or at least deport the people who voted for the representatives who write their traffic laws.
Heading down the road on my next adventure, stay safe.
Allan
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