A Dinosaur in the making!

I happened across the homepage for Kirkus Reviews this morning.
I think it is a good time to elect someone to start working on a eulogy for this fixture of what the publishing world was.
All one has to do is study the list of the works they refuse to review and it is clear that they don't realize the boat has sailed on without them.
The list of what they refuse to review follows:

already published books
mass-market titles
self-published titles
reprints
print-on-demand titles
screenplays or other types of dramatic works
poetry
textbooks
technical or professional works
any work intended for an academic audience
reference books
instruction manuals
books of regional interest
computer & technology handbooks handbooks

leaves one to wonder what they do , do over there.

Probably reading the same twelve authors Borders carried on their shelves, and the James Patterson book of the month.

The World Gives You What You Are Willing To Accept

A friend just mailed to complain about his neighbor who is singing to his Chia-pet lamb. I asked him if he noticed there were bars on all of the windows in his building before he moved in.
He said of course he did but the rent was cheap.

I have to do what? Say that one more time.

Visited an Indie near my Florida place and approached the manager about doing a signing. He was kind enough to let me know I would first have to seek out an unknown reporter with the local news-paper, to get a feature interview, to correspond with the signing, without knowing what day that would be and I should also consider a half page add to facilitate the feature article.
Obviously I bear an amazing resemblance to Billy Gates I wasn't aware of.
I'm thinking about going to plan "B". A corrugated cardboard sign, "Writer , will sell books for food", and a real busy intersection.

No good deed goes...

A few years ago I wrote a short story that Tony Burton of Wolfgang Press used as a fund raiser for "Toys For Tots".
I included two of the characters that appear in my "Bay Harbour" mystery series. Some kind hearted soul from one of the western states decided I must be a wealthy author type and proceeded with a legal action against me for depicting him as a thief since he shared the nickname of one of my characters.
I was sure he thought I would settle and just send him a tidy check. Just goes to show you how wrong he could be. I admit it may have cost more than the settlement would have been negotiated to, but once in a while even I grab hold of a principle.
Time consuming, yes, expensive ,yes, but was it worth it, yes. Sleep well tonight Bay Harbour, Gibby, your name is safe with me.

Love Is Murder LOVIES

I was offered the position of acting as Governor of the Lovies at LIM 2012. Cash bribes are of no use and will reported to the proper authorities. Now in the case of raisin, oatmeal.... I say no more.

Travel Obsevations

1) 2 size ten Sketchers do not serve well as brakes for a forty seven and one half pound suit case when it bears down on you as you are forward of it on an escalator.

2) TSA agents are not required to carry band-aids.

3) Nothing works as a sufficient book-mark when the aircraft you are in hits a wind-shear and abruptly drops three hundred feet.

4) Airline food has gotten colder but not better.

5) Do not attempt feigning sleep to prevent your seat companions recitation of their biography, it doesn't work.

6) When asked , "what are you reading?" Do not reply, "a book I wrote." Striking them when they counter with, "Is it any good?" Is deeply frowned upon by any Air Marshall who is on the plane. I don't know about you but I swell a little at altitude and those hand-cuffs bite.

Couldn't be better, why do you ask?

Nothing strikes terror into a persons heart more than someone walking up to you and saying, "Do you feel alright?"

Up until that moment I was feeling fine. I had gotten up early. I knocked out four pages that I felt were adequate and was considering asking my wife out to breakfast when that girl, with fourteen visible piercings, moved me one step closer to deaths door.

Having no bases to compare with what I look like normally how could she possibly know if this was a good day or not.

I signed the credit card slip and headed to the mens room hoping the mirror would give a fair appraisal of the possibility I might not make it back to my car.

It turned out the mirror was cracked and so dirty Matt Damon would have looked bad in it. I left the restroom still in doubt of my chance at longevity and decided if my demise was eminent I would go out with Butterfinger Bar crumbs on my shirt. I approached Miss Holes in the head's counter and realized her eyes were focused below my belt line. it wasn't until I got into the car I realized my fly was open. I have to find a different gas station before the needle hits "E:.